The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Friday Round-Up: September 9, 2005

All in all, not a bad week, though though we've got more posts on deck than put to bed than we'd like. But there's one shiny bit of coolness in the otherwise humdrum muck of late summer-- The mighty J.E.I. has a mention on Lisa Marr's site. It doesn't get much better than that.

So enjoy your weekend; we'll be back with more hilarity. Oh, and Jimmy Olsen's due back from his summer vacation next week. Maybe we can get Superman to squeeze his coal in to a journalistic diamond... anyway, here's the Friday Round-Up.

As authentic as anything else we do.
Bad Art
We don't know a lot about art but we know what we hate.
A.K.A "Please withdraw your lawsuit."
Opinions are like bellybuttons: a useless deforming scar.
Nifty graphics, sounds and video guaranteed to crash your computer.
Those who can't do, review.
Feature Articles
Finally, some meat on this bone.
Food Of The Gods
Would that we could eat like them.
For Sale
Caveat Emptor. Seriously.
Hot Or Not?
Celebrities ridicule the insecure. Fun.
Because reading is fundemental.
Lost & Found
Uniting keepers and weepers.
Lost TV
Untold tales of the glowing glass teat.
Stop the presses.
There once was a girl from Nantucket...
The Savage Breast
Music, not boobs.
What she blinded us with.
Seal Of Approval
Sites that don't suck so much.
Storytime Corner
Once upon a time... .
A Thousand Words
What a picture is worth, depending on exchange rates.
Intercepted communications amongst the staff.
Wish List
Or, as Black Flag said, "Gimme gimme gimme."

Insania Fragilis, Fectum Dubitabilis!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Ephemereviews: Aquabats, Plimsouls & New Pornographers

We understand. You want to hear some cool new music, but the choices can be overwhelming. What's good? What's crap? Well belay that consternation, Timmy, The mighty J.E.I. is here to help with our latest and greatest column, Ephemereviews.

OK, the pun is a bit of a stretch, but the love is there. Click the covers to see what Amazon has to say, or visit the record label sites listed at the end of each review.

The Aquabats!
Closing in fast on half a dozen albums in their oeuvre, this time out The Aquabats! decide to play it lean and mean. The ska horn section may be gone, but the guitar-driven music is still fun, catchy, and true to their superhero/sci-fi/Mexican wrestler/nerd rock style. Every song title ends in an exclamation point; that should tell you all you need to know. Nitro Records.
One Night In America: Live!
The Plimsouls
If you were a complex multi-celled being in the early '80s (i.e., more than just a sperm and egg), you probably recall "A Million Miles Away," the most ubiquitous radio and movie soundtrack (Valley Girl, The Last American Virgin) hit from The Plimsouls. But like The Knack, Cheap Trick and other guitar rock bands lost in the sea of synthy '80s new wave, The Plimsouls were best heard live. So here's your chance until the boys down in the lab get the flux capacitor into the Delorean to send you back to 1981. Oglio Records.
Twin Cinema
The New Pornographers
The third album by Canada's alt/indy/eclectic pop rock darlings, "Twin Cinema" picks right up from where the brilliant "Mass Romantic" and "Electric Version" left off. A.C. Newman writes amazingly intelligent and beautifully crafted songs that rival XTC, Elvis Costello, and Brian Wilson before the meltdown. You'll wonder how something so dense and complex can sound so simple and right. Matador Records.

There, we've done your thinking for you; doesn't that feel better? We'll be back from time to time with more J.E.I.-approved music, movies and such, so have those wallets at the ready.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Wish List: Batman TV Show Shakespeare Bust

Though we're not the first fan boys to drool over this kitschy gem, we've had our eye on it for years (but the $300 price tag has always kept it just out of reach of the impulse buy column). Of course, we're talking about the fantastic secret Batpole access switch Shakespeare bust from the Batman TV show.

Bronze-finished and almost two feet tall, with a hinged head that reveals a retro Bakelite switch that controls an AC outlet, this mofo isn't just a prop; it has almost unlimited uses.

Plug in anything to it-- have it switch on a lamp or power up your entire music studio; wire it to open a garage door or flick on a blender, whatever-- it's just effing cool, and we want one. Now all we have to find is the dial-less light-up red batphone on a cake plate...

Also in this series...

Monday, September 05, 2005

Food Of The Gods: Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders IV

Just when we think we're out...

We swear, we thought we were done, but thanks to a weekend stock replenishment at our local Han Ah Reum Asian market, we're back in the Pocky review business. Oh well. Somebody's gotta do it.

By the way, if you haven't done so, take a look at our Flickr gallery, "Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders" to see hundreds of flavor and packaging versions of Pocky and it's ilk. Why? Why not? Don't cost nothin'...

But enough babbling, let's get on with the show. We proudly present round (and please god let it be the last for a while) four of the J.E.I. Pocky Taste Test.

Giant Chocolate Pocky
(Chocolate covered giant biscuit sticks) Unlike the kind of pointless Giant Strawberry Pocky, Giant Chocolate Pocky is pretty enjoyable. Oh, it's still a novelty and definitely not an everyday Pocky, but the flavor is good and it could be a hit at dinner parties. Just be prepared to lay out about $12 per box (50¢ per stick).
Cheesecake Pocky
(Cheesecake-flavored covered biscuit sticks) Flavor-wise, not unlike its curdled dairy cousin Yogurt Pocky. But despite the accurate flavor, the texture of the coating is a little waxy, and the sticks don't have the golden toasted color of regular Chocolate Pocky. For us, Cheesecake Pocky finishes in the middle of the pack.
Chocolate Mousse Pocky
(Whipped chocolate covered biscuit sticks) We figured much of our lackluster response to Green Tea Mousse Pocky was due to the fact that while we like green tea, it's not really on our sweets radar (once we determined the flavor was much like vanilla, we could deal with it). But we had a similar "blah" response to Chocolate Mousse Pocky. The thicker coating just isn't creamy like you'd expect, and the milk chocolate flavor is extremely weak (more aftertaste than taste). You get more of a hit of greasy cocoa butter than actual chocolate, and man, that ain't cool. Not worth the extra yen.
Garden Pretz
(Vegetable-flavored biscuit sticks) The vegetarian version of Crispy Pizza Pretz. Salty and satisfying; definitely earns a spot on the repeat buy list.
Chocolate Pepero
(Chocolate covered biscuit sticks) Another pathetic offering from Korea's Lotte. Foul-smelling and even worse tasting, we sampled one stick then deep-sixed the rest. Putrid.
Hello Kitty Chocolate
(Chocolate dip and roast sesame biscuit sticks) Like Yan Yan, a do-it-your-selfer Pocky kit: Biscuit sticks and a stingy cup of chocolate frosting-like dip. But the dip is synthetic-tasting, and not at all pleasant. We know some of you have a Hello Kitty jones and just have to buy anything with the little freak's mug on it, but do yourself a favor, if you must have a biscuit/dip kit, stick to Yan Yan.
Hello Kitty Strawberry
(Strawberry flavored dip and biscuit sticks) As above, but with a horrible strawberry-flavored dip. Not worth the money.
Seriously, we're taking a Pocky break. It's not that we're off the stuff; quite the opposite, we have our favorites and we still enjoy them. But we're tired of the hunt, the game. We want to go back to s simpler time when Pocky made us smile.

So take the knowledge we've imparted to you and find your own favorite Pocky. Tell us about it. Or don't... because honestly, no one really cares. Sorry if that's a little harsh, kitten, but you gotta grow up sometime.

Also in this series...