The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Friday Round-Up: June 24, 2005

Sorry, Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration readers, we just didn't have any of the quality celebrity nudity you crave this week (don't deny it, we see the Google search referral links in our site stats). We'll try harder next week, and by harder, we mean try to keep it in your pants. Until then, here's the Friday Round-Up.

  • Advertising
  • Bad Art - coming soon!
  • Correction
  • Editorial
  • For Sale
  • Hot Or Not?
  • Illiterature
  • The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval
  • Lost & Found
  • Lost TV
  • News
  • Poetry
  • Science!
  • Soothing The Savage Breast
  • Storytime Corner
  • A Thousand Words
  • Watercooler
  • Wish List

  • Consarnit, read the JEI Archives! We're not just leaving them there so the little birds can cover them up with leaves.

    News: Mississippi No Longer Burning, Itching Persists

    PHILADELPHIA, MS - Accused Ku Klux Klansman Edgar Ray Killen was found guilty of manslaughter on Tuesday in the 1964 killings of three civil rights workers, a case that outraged much of the country, energized the civil rights movement, and earned over $34.6 million for Orion Pictures in 1988.

    Killen, 80, had been portrayed by prosecutors as a Ku Klux Klan leader who recruited a mob to kill Michael Schwerner, Andrew Goodman and James Chaney exactly 41 years ago, on June 21, 1964. The killings in Neshoba County were dramatized in the 1988 movie Mississippi Burning.

    Circuit Judge Marcus Gordon ordered him held at the Neshoba County Sheriff's office pending sentencing on Thursday. Killen, who faces up to 20 years in prison, showed no visible emotion as the verdict was read.

    "We're sure glad to have wrapped this thing up," said Neshoba County ADA Gurn Blanston. "We're confident we have finally got our man. No doubt about it, this is the fella what done them murders. We was mistaken th'other times."

    Previous suspects in the case have included Dustin Hoffman (playing Jack Crabb in Little Big Man), Dominic Chianese (Uncle Junior from "The Sopranos"), chicken baron Frank Purdue, "Benny Hill Show" abuse-target Jackie Wright, fictional serial killer Freddy Kruger, and Six Flags amusement park mascot "Mr. Six." All were cleared of any involvement in the murders.

    Also in this series...

    Thursday, June 23, 2005

    Lost & Found: Strap On... Strap Off...

    Found: You know what it is.
    Location: Rock Creek Parkway, Washington DC
    (in the road, behind the Watergate)
    Date: February 8, 2001

    We'll admit it, even if you claim rightful ownership to this horror we're not going to be able to return it to you. Though a sharp-eyed JEI staffer did risk life and limb (not to mention held up morning rush hour traffic) to snap this photo, under no circumstances was he going to touch it. Ick.

    And wouldn't you know it, the next morning it was gone. We can only hope it ended up in a landfill, and not, y'know... in anything else...

    Also in this series...

    Wednesday, June 22, 2005

    Wish List: Bible Bars

    Bible Bars
    Originally uploaded by Blue Cockatoo.
    Finally, Jesus is doing endorsements again. Not many people remember His brief stint in 1963 as spokesman for McDonald's new fish sandwich. Not that the commercials weren't memorable:

    "Hi kids, Jesus here. Vatican II says you can now eat meat on Fridays, but you know better, don't you? So why not try a delicious McDonald's Filet-O-Fish Sandwich®? It's tastes great, and it'll keep you out of Hell!"

    Also in this series...

    Monday, June 20, 2005

    News: Get Away From Her, You Bi-yotch!

    TOKYO - Japan has taken a step into the science-fiction world with the release of a "robot suit" that can help workers lift heavy loads or assist people with disabilities climb stairs.

    "Humans may be able to mutate into supermen in the near future," said Yoshiyuki Sankai, professor and engineer at the Weyland Yutani Company who led the project.

    The 15-kilogram (33-pound) battery-powered suit, code-named HAL-5, detects muscle movements through electrical-signal flows on the skin surface and then amplifies them.

    The prototype suit will be displayed at the World Exposition that is currently taking place in Aichi prefecture, central Japan. Sankai says immediate applications of the technology will be to supply "power loader" suits to deep space mining operations, such at the Nostromo cargo ship and the Fiornia 161 ore refinement facility. Colonial Marines have also expressed interest in the suit's capabilities.

    "This suit is one of the many spectacular breakthroughs we've had since Mother, our most glorious supercomputer went online," adds Sankai. "We expect Mother to become self-aware within a year. Who knows what wonderful things will happen then?"

    Also in this series...