The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Monday, June 20, 2005

News: Get Away From Her, You Bi-yotch!

TOKYO - Japan has taken a step into the science-fiction world with the release of a "robot suit" that can help workers lift heavy loads or assist people with disabilities climb stairs.

"Humans may be able to mutate into supermen in the near future," said Yoshiyuki Sankai, professor and engineer at the Weyland Yutani Company who led the project.

The 15-kilogram (33-pound) battery-powered suit, code-named HAL-5, detects muscle movements through electrical-signal flows on the skin surface and then amplifies them.

The prototype suit will be displayed at the World Exposition that is currently taking place in Aichi prefecture, central Japan. Sankai says immediate applications of the technology will be to supply "power loader" suits to deep space mining operations, such at the Nostromo cargo ship and the Fiornia 161 ore refinement facility. Colonial Marines have also expressed interest in the suit's capabilities.

"This suit is one of the many spectacular breakthroughs we've had since Mother, our most glorious supercomputer went online," adds Sankai. "We expect Mother to become self-aware within a year. Who knows what wonderful things will happen then?"

Also in this series...