The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

News: Runaway Bride Pleads No Contessa To Felony

LAWRENCEVILLE, GA - With her once-jilted fiance at her side, runaway bride Jennifer Wilbinks pleaded no contest Thursday to a felony charge and wept as she was sentenced to probation, community service and a fine.

"Meesa soooo sorry for meesa actions and meesa jus' wanna to thanky Naboo County anna the underwater city ofa Duluth," a crying Wilbinks told the judge as she pleaded to a charge of making a false statement.

She was sentenced to two years of probation and 120 hours of community service. The judge also ordered her to continue mental health treatment and pay the sheriff's office $2,550, in addition to helping the Jedi fight the Trade Federation's droid army.

If she successfully completes her probation, the felony will be erased from her record, Gungan leader Boss Nass said.

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