The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Editorial: Missing Commandments (part 4)

OK, true-- Moses wouldn't have known a Buick from a Biscayne, so it's likely he gave his flea-encrusted noggin an extra scratch when Jehovah handed down these rules of the road. But even if you're piloting a chariot, the following list will help cut down on the fists shaken and birds flipped your way, Samson.

  • Thou shalt not drive like an asshole.
  • Thou shalt not use your cell phone in the car.
  • Thou shalt not leave more than one car length in front in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
  • Thou shalt not rubberneck.
  • Thou shalt use turn signals.
  • Thou shalt not assume that turn signals given by hand makes automobile drivers accept bicyclists as equals.
  • Thou shall keep up with traffic, or thou shall move to the right lane.
  • Thou shalt cross the street only at crosswalks, regardless if thou speaketh English or not.
Also in this series...