The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Editorial: So Much For Buying Respect

Sometimes it's better to just leave well enough alone. Pick a scab, you're just gonna get a bigger scab. But all too often the spectre of "progress" prods us in the back and we're driven to the false conclusion that newer=better. Feh, we say. Feh indeed!

To that end, let's turn to the U.S. Treasury and take a look at the familiar design of the U.S. $50 bill, which has been greasing palms since 1929:

Nice, huh? It commands respect. We kicked ass in two world wars slinging suitcases full of these beauties. Now take a look at the "new and improved" finsky:

Oy. Kind of like Milton Bradley and the Parker Brothers were contracted to design leaflets for a rave. We can't swear to this, but we're pretty sure Ulysses S. Grant actually existed in shades of green and grey. His grim mug just does not jive with a gaily-colored subway tagging.

So do we curse the darkness or light a candle? True, cursing is so much more fun, but here at the J.E.I., we see the snowball gaining girth and encourage the Feds to keep going. In fact, we won't rest until the mighty U.S. of A. surges past the current silly money champions (no, not Canada), those laid-back square coin and purple stoned turtle-swappers of Aruba. Might as well be in for a pound since we're in for a pence.

Also in this series...