The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Friday, April 15, 2005

And Now A Word From Our Sponser...

When in Monte Carlo, those "in-the-know" visit The High Roller's Club. Setting the gold standard for entertainment and events in a resort city widely regarded as the Entertainment Capital of a limited area in Europe, The High Roller's Club has built its global reputation with a roster of superstar performers and legendary legends performing, to the limits of their "talents," acts you will see nowhere else.

Where else but The High Roller's Club can you witness the spectacle of... unprecedented combination of performance, passion and technical innovation: the incomparable Wayne Newton singing "The Impossible Dream" while shitting himself rotten? “No one gives 110% like the Midnight Idol®!” -Fran Tarkenton
...fantastic illusioneer David Copperfield masturbating briskly into a hat, then pulling out a wet and angry rabbit thusly? “You will be awash in amazement!” -Tom Shales
...honored corporate spokesperson James Earl Jones performing a dramatic reading from "Rambone: Fist Blood 2"? “You'll feel it in your gut. In a good way!” -Katie Couric
...mesmerizing archival footage of legendary thespian Sir Lawrence Olivier being reamed up the ass by an up-and-coming Steve Guttenberg? “A perfect bookend with his award-winning Police Academy opus.” -Roger Ebert
...a satisfying interactive offering, William Shatner presenting himself to be soundly beaten into unconsciousness by the audience? Rex Reed has called Shatner's performance "pleasurably brutal."
...unparalleled excitement and challenge as TV's lovable duo Ed Asner and Lou Ferrigno have a "pillow" fight with the dried corpses of Bill Bixby and Bert Convy? “Breathtaking.” -Ed “Too Tall” Jones
...Greek maestro Yanni spewing random obscenities at his dead mother whilst seated in front of an irrelevant piano? “Understatement has not been invited to this party.” -Elton John
...the always-dazzling Elizabeth Ashley stimulate herself vigorously with a wire brush until she's incontinent into a pickle jar? The fluid will be mixed with Kaluha® and crushed ice for consumption in the lobby during intermission.

And that's not all. The High Roller's Club Ricardo Montalban Memorial Theatre's main stage plays host to stars that shine brighter than all the neon in Spokane, Washington. Can you possibly pass on the opportunity to see...

...famed Johnny Carson impersonator extraordinaire Rich Little, dressed as the "Great Carnac," administering enthusiastic blow-jobs to a somber Ed McMahon? “Hi-oh! “ -Ed McMahon show circuit veteran Phyllis Diller opening a 1-inch incision in her abdomen and extruding enough yard to knit comfortable sweaters for the entire kitchen staff? “Muy bueño, Señora Deeller! “ -The High Roller’s Club kitchen staff
...unbridled laughter as nice-guy Phil Donahue repeatedly punches the lovable Marlo Thomas in the left eye and abdomen? "Which girl? That Girl!" -O.J. Simpson
...self-proclaimed "genius" and supervillain Steven Hawking, who will be pushed onto the stage and left sitting there for 30 minutes? “An evening spent with Dr. Hawking is nothing short of extraordinary.” -Larry Flint footballer Jim Brown thrilling the audience with his uncanny impersonations of Martha Raye and marksman-like distance urination? "The showy costumes are augmented by incredible video imagery and stage props, yet the end result is unmistakably classic Brown." -Phil Mypockets
...notorious ex-President Jimmy “James” Carter sitting cross-legged on the stage and carving a precise, if unimaginative, Halloween pumpkin? “Carter creates his own universe on stage, and then shares it intimately with the audience in a way that heightens and intensifies their senses. You'll leave the show seeing more than you did the day before.” -Ray Romano
...shadowy sibling Clint Howard reading excerpts from "The Grapes of Wrath" while applying pressure to a bandaged ice pick hole in his neck? “He has survived the ups and downs of fringe-stardom for over 30 years. Commercially, creatively, on stage and on record, Clint is a legendary artist - one who is still as relevant as ever.” -Ron Howard
...Jimmy "J.J." Walker weeping so deeply and for so long that he begins to retch? “Jimmy's finely honed stage presence, a winning factor in targeting his one role of note straight into the heart of America, is excess incarnate.” -Gene Siskel’s ghost
...nice-guy John Davidson trimming his fingernails and making exact scale models of famous skylines with the leavings? “Gregarious, show-stopping, outlandish and unforgettable.” -Sandy Duncan

Entertainment always takes center stage at The High Roller's Club!

"This is a show about pain, doubt, laughter, talent, beauty, music, friendship, songs. A show about people. About trust. About yes and maybe and no. About ambition, tears and smiles and teamwork. More than anything, though, it is a show about passion." - Celine Dion, Canadian

  • Three shows per evening, 5:00pm, 8:35pm and Midnight.
  • Please see the manager to inquire about charter memberships.
  • A $5,000 cover charge will be assed for non-members (please bring your own cat turd).
  • For your convenience, we validate parking.