Can you believe it? A whole year already. It seems like only yesterday the Gutenberg 5000 Cyberpress® started belching its noxious fumes of cruel mockery and the mighty J.E.I. came screaming into this horrible world.
Lately we've been on somewhat of an American Idol tear, and can you blame us? That putz Ace is still in the running. He must be stopped, Americans (and Puerto Ricans and Guamians). At least we've had some consolation this week, roaming the halls of the J.E.I. compound belting out the name game song:
"Bucky, Bucky, Bo-Bucky
You get the idear.
But no matter, it's time to celebrate, and this Friday Round-Up basks in the glory of a year's worth of meaningless glory. Scientists may marvel that once again we made it around the goddamn sun without getting swatted by a ginormous meteor, but the real huzzah goes to the J.E.I.'s 163 posts. One of these days we'll slap together a "best of" for reading on the crapper, but trust us, every one of the 163: fried gold.
Stay with us for another trip around the sun, fair readermonkeys, because this time we're going for 164.
As authentic as anything else we do.
We don't know a lot about art but we know what we hate.
A.K.A "Please withdraw your lawsuit."
Opinions are like bellybuttons: a useless deforming scar.
Nifty graphics, sounds and video guaranteed to crash your computer.
Those who can't do, review.
Finally, some meat on this bone.
Food Of The Gods
Would that we could eat like them.
Caveat Emptor. Seriously.
Hot Or Not?
Celebrities ridicule the insecure. Fun.
Because reading is fundemental.
Lost & Found
Uniting keepers and weepers.
Untold tales of the glowing glass teat.
Stop the presses.
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 8
- Happy Birthday, Sherm
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 7
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 6
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 5
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 4
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 3
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 2
- American Idol Of The Living Dead, Round 1
- Killer Veep Vows Revenge, Guns Down Lawyer
- State Of The Union, With A Vengeance
- American Idol Uncensored: The Americanist Edition
- Can You Feel The Hate? American Idol Is Back
- Whoville Breeds Green-Glowing Pigs
- Fall 2005 J.E.I. Interns
- Pat Robertson Surprised At Fuss, Sets Record Straight
- The Least Litigious Place On Earth
- Cartoon World Mourns Death Of Jabberjaw
- Olympics & Pans
- Mississippi No Longer Burning, Itching Persists
- Get Away From Her, You Bi-yotch!
- Alba's Nipple Fulfills Red Carpet Duties
- Runaway Bride Pleads No Contessa To Felony
- Sit Down, American Idol, We Need To Talk
- Vatican Fast-Tracks John Paul II Sainthood, Issues Commemorative Cookie Jar
- Tough Break, Chekov
- You Was Robbed, Dawg
- Your Next American Idol
- And A Habemus Papam To You!
There once was a girl from Nantucket...
The Savage Breast
Music, not boobs, you perv.
What she blinded us with.
Seal Of Approval
Sites that don't suck so much.
Once upon a time... .
A Thousand Words
What a picture is worth, depending on exchange rates.
Intercepted communications amongst the staff.
Or, as Black Flag said, "Gimme gimme gimme."
Insania Fragilis, Fectum Dubitabilis!