The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Food Of The Gods: Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders IV

Just when we think we're out...

We swear, we thought we were done, but thanks to a weekend stock replenishment at our local Han Ah Reum Asian market, we're back in the Pocky review business. Oh well. Somebody's gotta do it.

By the way, if you haven't done so, take a look at our Flickr gallery, "Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders" to see hundreds of flavor and packaging versions of Pocky and it's ilk. Why? Why not? Don't cost nothin'...

But enough babbling, let's get on with the show. We proudly present round (and please god let it be the last for a while) four of the J.E.I. Pocky Taste Test.

Giant Chocolate Pocky
(Chocolate covered giant biscuit sticks) Unlike the kind of pointless Giant Strawberry Pocky, Giant Chocolate Pocky is pretty enjoyable. Oh, it's still a novelty and definitely not an everyday Pocky, but the flavor is good and it could be a hit at dinner parties. Just be prepared to lay out about $12 per box (50¢ per stick).
Cheesecake Pocky
(Cheesecake-flavored covered biscuit sticks) Flavor-wise, not unlike its curdled dairy cousin Yogurt Pocky. But despite the accurate flavor, the texture of the coating is a little waxy, and the sticks don't have the golden toasted color of regular Chocolate Pocky. For us, Cheesecake Pocky finishes in the middle of the pack.
Chocolate Mousse Pocky
(Whipped chocolate covered biscuit sticks) We figured much of our lackluster response to Green Tea Mousse Pocky was due to the fact that while we like green tea, it's not really on our sweets radar (once we determined the flavor was much like vanilla, we could deal with it). But we had a similar "blah" response to Chocolate Mousse Pocky. The thicker coating just isn't creamy like you'd expect, and the milk chocolate flavor is extremely weak (more aftertaste than taste). You get more of a hit of greasy cocoa butter than actual chocolate, and man, that ain't cool. Not worth the extra yen.
Garden Pretz
(Vegetable-flavored biscuit sticks) The vegetarian version of Crispy Pizza Pretz. Salty and satisfying; definitely earns a spot on the repeat buy list.
Chocolate Pepero
(Chocolate covered biscuit sticks) Another pathetic offering from Korea's Lotte. Foul-smelling and even worse tasting, we sampled one stick then deep-sixed the rest. Putrid.
Hello Kitty Chocolate
(Chocolate dip and roast sesame biscuit sticks) Like Yan Yan, a do-it-your-selfer Pocky kit: Biscuit sticks and a stingy cup of chocolate frosting-like dip. But the dip is synthetic-tasting, and not at all pleasant. We know some of you have a Hello Kitty jones and just have to buy anything with the little freak's mug on it, but do yourself a favor, if you must have a biscuit/dip kit, stick to Yan Yan.
Hello Kitty Strawberry
(Strawberry flavored dip and biscuit sticks) As above, but with a horrible strawberry-flavored dip. Not worth the money.
Seriously, we're taking a Pocky break. It's not that we're off the stuff; quite the opposite, we have our favorites and we still enjoy them. But we're tired of the hunt, the game. We want to go back to s simpler time when Pocky made us smile.

So take the knowledge we've imparted to you and find your own favorite Pocky. Tell us about it. Or don't... because honestly, no one really cares. Sorry if that's a little harsh, kitten, but you gotta grow up sometime.

Also in this series...