The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

News: Olympics & Pans


The International Olympic Committee has decided that baseball and softball events will not be part of the 2012 London games. Well, fine by us. An informal poll across the JEI compound shows that we'd be OK with eliminating all team sports from the games. And eliminating shoes.


But the IOC gonna do what the IOC gonna do, and there's still a slew of silly "sports" polluting the greeky games. Let's take a look at a few of the thrilling events from days past no one watched on the 3am NBC triplecast:

  • Archery (1900-1020, 1972-)
  • Backgammon (1960-1972)
  • Badminton (1992-)
  • Ballroom Dancing (1932-1936)
  • Baseball (1992-2008)
  • Basketball (1936-)
  • Beach Volleyball (1996-)
  • Boxing (1904-)
  • Canoeing (1936-)
  • Craps (1964-1976)
  • Cycling (1896-)
  • Decathlon (1896-)
  • Diving (1904-)
  • Equestrian (1900-)
  • Faith Healing (1988-1996)
  • Fencing (1896-)
  • Field Hockey (1908-)
  • Fishing (1924-1936)
  • Goose-Stepping (1932-1936)
  • Gymnastics (1896-)
  • Hackysack (1988-1992)
  • Handball (1936-)
  • Hand-Jiving (1952-1964)
  • Jenga (1992-1996)
  • Judo (1964-)
  • Jumping (1896-)
  • Kick The Can (1904-1924)
  • Log-Rolling (1980-1984)
  • Marathon (1896-)
  • Mountain Biking (1996-)
  • Mumblety-Peg (1960-1968)
  • Parallel Parking (1976-1992)
  • Pattycaking (1960-1964)
  • Pentathlon (1912-)
  • Pie-Eating (1976-1984)
  • Pie-Throwing (1976-1980)
  • Red Rover Red Rover (1984-1988)
  • Rowing (1900-)
  • Sailing(1900-)
  • Shooting (1896-)
  • Sit-Ups (1952-1956)
  • Soccer (1900-)
  • Softball (1996-2008)
  • Speed-Dialing (1988-1992)
  • Swimming (1896-)
  • Synchronized Swimming (1984-)
  • Table Tennis (1988-)
  • Taekwondo (2000-)
  • Tennis (1896-1924, 1988-)
  • Throwing (1896-)
  • Tickle Fighting (1972-1976)
  • Tiddlywinks (1956-1960)
  • Track (1896-)
  • Triathlon (2000-)
  • Tug-Of-War (1900-1952)
  • Volleyball (1964-)
  • Water Polo (1900-)
  • Weightlifting (1896-)
  • Wound Debreeding (1924-1932)
  • Wrestling (1896-)
    • But there is a bright side-- had the 2012 games had been awarded to Paris, the French would almost certainly have insisted on the inclusion of their national sport, smoking.


    Also in this series...

    posted by Editor, The J.E.I. | 2:16 AM