Food Of The Gods: Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders V

If everything we needed to know we learned from Star Trek, we know we can count on the fifth part of any series to be its Shatner-helmed nadir.

But fret not, as Chris Plummer is waiting in the wings with his bolted-on eyepatch and warmed-over Hamlet, ready to discover our undiscovered country. It at least gives us a shot at going out on a high note.

And by the way, it bears repeating; if you haven't done so, take a look at our Flickr gallery, "Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders" to see hundreds of flavor and packaging versions of Pocky and the like.

But enough chit-chat, you came here for the Pocky lowdown. We more-or-less proudly present round cinco of the J.E.I. Pocky Taste Test: The Final Frontier.

		Milk Chocolate Pocky (Milk-chocolate covered wheat biscuit sticks) Eh. Not bad, not great. The overly-sweet chocolate and the strong wheatiness of the stick step on each other's feet in their mad dash to tickle our taste buds. Message to Glico: never, never give the stick a stronger flavor than the coating.
		Custard Fondu Mousse Pocky (Whipped custard-flavored covered biscuit sticks) We've gone on record as not being fans of Pocky's Mousse line of treats. Mostly, they have come across as unbalanced, sometimes greasier tasting versions of their normal cousins. Maybe we're going soft, but Custard Fondu Mousse Pocky is... well, fine. Not bad at all. Won't make the finals, but we'd buy it in a pinch.
		Chocolate Chaud Mousse Pocky (Whipped chocolate covered biscuit sticks) See, you got cocky, Mousse Pocky. Readers may as well hop on over and read our tepid review of Chocolate Mousse Pocky. We don't know exactly what "chaud" is, but we can tell you it ain't "deliciousness." However, we do like the stripes.
		Honey White Almond Crush Pocky (White chocolate and almond bits covered biscuit sticks) We can't help feeling ripped off when, instead of a jam-packed mosh-pit of sweet sticks, a sparse and orderly row of almond-encrusted bus stop waiters greets us upon opening the box. Oh well. The "white" being somewhat obvious, we can't really make out any honey flavor. Nor is it really that different than Almond Crush Chocolate Pocky. So knock yourself out, whatever you can grab.
		Caramel Pocky (Caramel-flavored covered biscuit sticks) We definitely get a solid hit of caramel biting into these sticks, but the aroma quickly drifts to a flavor something very similar to Cheesecake or Yogurt Pocky. Which in and of itself is fine, but when a Pocky can't distinguish itself in a crowd, our eyes start to glaze.

Next time: Sesame? Soybean? We brave the waters of the scary Eastern palette. Sit tight, Pocky Pals...


Also in this series...

• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders IV
• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders III
• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders II
• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders I
• The Fool's Gold Loaf