The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

For Sale: The Handsomest Ken Ever!


Island Antiques & Collectables, Chincoteague, VA. $18


To see him in his well-worn pink box, you immediately sense that "Crystal" Ken is anchored by a smooth resolve and confidence you don't usually find in second-hand store toys. But what he'll never let you see are the tears behind his piercing blue eyes and dazzlingly white smile.

It took Ken three years and thousands in therapy bills to finally accept his responsibility for the fling that brought his world crashing down. Sure, Skipper was partially to blame, but he should have known better. "I had it all and I blew it. She was Barbie's kid sister, for chrissakes," he confided to his friend GI Joe, "What the hell was I thinking?"

But he could never lie, not to her. Of course, when the ugly truth was ultimately revealed, Barbie kicked him out of the Dream House with nothing more than his original packaging and the tiny clothes on his back. And though Ken knew deep down he was getting what he deserved, he'd paid for that pink Corvette, and he'd be goddamned if she was going to take it from him. Looking back, he regrets his focus on material possessions.

Today, despite the messy divorce, he and Barbie are back on speaking terms. She says she forgives him, but he knows the hurt will always be there. She has her careers to keep her busy, and Ken knows the best thing he can do for her is to let her go and hope for his own brighter future through the haze of his plastic-windowed home.

The dust layer on Ken's tattered box grows thicker as the decades pass, but Ken always finds a way to keep his positive outlook. "At $18 I'm priced to move," he tells the other dolls on his shelf. They don't share his optimism, but how could they? For Ken has a unique spark deep inside that ignites his passion and resolve in a way that the others could never understand. He knows big things are out there somewhere just waiting for him-- how could they not be? After all, he is the handsomest Ken ever!

Also in this series...