The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Monday, April 10, 2006

News: Happy Birthday, Sherm.

Can you believe it? It hardly seems a year since we had the big nine-oh blowout, and here we are wishing Harry Morgan many happy returns as he tries to huff and puff ninety-one candles into smokey black cake-topping wicks.

Born Harry Bratsburg in 1915, he's in good birthday company: Vernon Presley, Sheb Wooley, Chuck Connors, Martin Denny, Steven Seagal, Babyface, Max Von Sydow, Omar Sharif, Haley Joel Osment and the ultra-delicious Mandy Moore all turn one year older today. But it's Harry's special day we're here to celebrate, and we'd like to do so with a quiz.

Match the wacky M*A*S*H hijinx with the colorful "Sherman T. Potter-ism" it prompted. Easy peasy, right?

1. Klinger claims he's the Toledo Strangler and begs to be extradited back to Ohio to stand trial.
A. "Horse hockey!"
2. Frank Burns wants Hawkeye brought up on charges for calling him "ferret-face" in front of the enlisted men.
B. "Mule Fritters!"
3. Radar tips off the Colonel that General Clayton is due any minute for a surprise inspection.
C. "Sweet Fanny Adams!"
4. Father Mulcahey walks in on the Colonel and Rosie enjoying the mutual pleasure only consenting adults can give one another.
D. "Blessed mother of fuck!"
5. BJ breaks down in tears and confesses that he has secretly murdered eight Korean prostitutes during his time at the 4077th
E. "Shit on a cracker!"
6. Margaret gets drunk and passes out naked in the Colonel's tent.
F. "Beans!"
7. The Colonel's horse, Sophie, defecates in Potter's favorite oatmeal bowl.
G. "Cocksucking fucking douche!"
8. Winchester repeatedly pleads to be reassigned to a hospital in Tokyo.
H. "Malarkey!"
9. Potter gets word that Mildred has had a stroke.
I. "Well, fuck me!"

Happy birthday, Harry. We hope someone gives you a horse to poo in your office.

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