The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration

The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration promises a neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye. Always remember, hate the game, not the playa.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Science! Earth to Pluto: Go Eff Yourself.

Well there's a fine how-do-you-do. One day, you're a planet. The next, you're just an icy rock. Them's the breaks.

But that's not all. Just in case you haven't kept up on the recent "up-is-down, black-is-white" hysterical declarations by the scientific community, here's a quick lowdown:

  • Plutonium will now be called "Blowupium"
  • Rice is now classified as a mineral
  • Salt water is now drinkable and considered highly delicious
  • Triangles can now contain up to five sides, or six if they're red
  • Snakes are now scientifically impossible
  • Seven is to be split into two digits, "se" and "ven"
  • Smoking causes more "cool" than "cancer"

Also in this series...