News: Olympics & Pans
The International Olympic Committee has decided that baseball and softball events will not be part of the 2012 London games. Well, fine by us. An informal poll across the JEI compound shows that we'd be OK with eliminating all team sports from the games. And eliminating shoes.
But the IOC gonna do what the IOC gonna do, and there's still a slew of silly "sports" polluting the greeky games. Let's take a look at a few of the thrilling events from days past no one watched on the 3am NBC triplecast:
But there is a bright side-- had the 2012 games had been awarded to Paris, the French would almost certainly have insisted on the inclusion of their national sport, smoking.
Archery (1900-1020, 1972-) Backgammon (1960-1972) Badminton (1992-) Ballroom Dancing (1932-1936) Baseball (1992-2008) Basketball (1936-) Beach Volleyball (1996-) Boxing (1904-) Canoeing (1936-) Craps (1964-1976) Cycling (1896-) Decathlon (1896-) Diving (1904-) Equestrian (1900-) Faith Healing (1988-1996) Fencing (1896-) Field Hockey (1908-) Fishing (1924-1936) Goose-Stepping (1932-1936) Gymnastics (1896-) Hackysack (1988-1992) Handball (1936-) Hand-Jiving (1952-1964) Jenga (1992-1996) Judo (1964-) Jumping (1896-) Kick The Can (1904-1924) Log-Rolling (1980-1984) Marathon (1896-) Mountain Biking (1996-) Mumblety-Peg (1960-1968) Parallel Parking (1976-1992) Pattycaking (1960-1964) Pentathlon (1912-) Pie-Eating (1976-1984) Pie-Throwing (1976-1980) Red Rover Red Rover (1984-1988) Rowing (1900-) Sailing(1900-) Shooting (1896-) Sit-Ups (1952-1956) Soccer (1900-) Softball (1996-2008) Speed-Dialing (1988-1992) Swimming (1896-) Synchronized Swimming (1984-) Table Tennis (1988-) Taekwondo (2000-) Tennis (1896-1924, 1988-) Throwing (1896-) Tickle Fighting (1972-1976) Tiddlywinks (1956-1960) Track (1896-) Triathlon (2000-) Tug-Of-War (1900-1952) Volleyball (1964-) Water Polo (1900-) Weightlifting (1896-) Wound Debreeding (1924-1932) Wrestling (1896-)
Also in this series...
- Mississippi No Longer Burning, Itching Persists
- Get Away From Her, You Bi-yotch!
- Alba's Nipple Fulfills Red Carpet Duties
- Runaway Bride Pleads No Contessa To Felony
- Sit Down, American Idol, We Need To Talk
- Vatican Fast-Tracks John Paul II Sainthood, Issues Commemorative Cookie Jar
- Tough Break, Chekov
- You Was Robbed, Dawg
- Your Next American Idol
- And A Habemus Papam To You!